she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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