no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Houston, we have a squirter
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
