i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
