my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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