So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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