And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
