I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
