you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
