do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
soo... how was my night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
