I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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