i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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