I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
