i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
