i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
