Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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