I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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