I wish I could teleport
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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