You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
