We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
