dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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