She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
