toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
