Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
