How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
