I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
