kristin has been a bad kristin
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize