I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
