it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
