Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
as a side note pls kill me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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