i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
