you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
