he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
