return my video game
so that wasnt chicken after all
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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