is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
