i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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