went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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