Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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