Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize