I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's like heaven, but drunker
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
