In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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