You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
