She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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