Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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