that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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