plz talk dirty to me
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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