yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
