she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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