i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
