you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist