Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.