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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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• (914): View more from New York

  I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  farters have to be the big spoon...

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

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• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.

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