I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.