4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
