just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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