I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
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