You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
