LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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