They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
