I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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