Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
