i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
