conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
