i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
